It's my party & I'll cry if I want to
Today is my 18th injection. Mondays seem to fly around although my weeks are full of nothing – I simply don’t know what on earth I do every day – not a lot!
Professor has gone on holiday and before he went he phoned to ask if all was ok. I told him I had been feeling a bit ‘down’ recently – not exactly depressed but heading that way. He encouraged the anti-depressant route but I am trying very hard to try alternative methods for the time being. I am taking my Wheat/barley grass tablets (which Prof said was ok) and they seem to be helping a bit. Trouble is I need to take 8 every day and sometimes I can’t stomach it – they taste dreadful and I’m not the best person in the world for taking pills. It takes me an age to get them down so truthfully speaking I am probably not taking the full dose on a regular basis. Must try harder!
Trying to analyse the ‘feeling low’, I suppose that on tx small cracks become huge craters so anything at all wrong with your life becomes a major fault. I have so many little fault lines in my world that earthquakes and tsunamis are happening regularly – or at least it seems that way. Tx too, seems to isolate you. I can’t explain it very well but I don’t have the energy or will to do the things in life that I was doing prior to tx. I havn’t exactly locked myself away or anything like that but I am reluctant, for instance, to go to play bridge these days. I do try and have a fairly ‘normal’ life like going out to parties or to dinner but I don’t have a lot to say to people – I am totally bored with talking about myself and my illness but there’s not a lot else going on for me to chat about…..
On a more positive note, it’s my birthday this week. I know at my age I should not be celebrating but what the hell. We have friends coming to stay and I’m having a birthday dinner for a few close friends. A new Italian friend (who happens to be a chef and who also had a liver transplant only last year) has offered to come and cook dinner for us so I get to enjoy it. The sun is shining, the sky is blue – what more could I ask for?
Professor has gone on holiday and before he went he phoned to ask if all was ok. I told him I had been feeling a bit ‘down’ recently – not exactly depressed but heading that way. He encouraged the anti-depressant route but I am trying very hard to try alternative methods for the time being. I am taking my Wheat/barley grass tablets (which Prof said was ok) and they seem to be helping a bit. Trouble is I need to take 8 every day and sometimes I can’t stomach it – they taste dreadful and I’m not the best person in the world for taking pills. It takes me an age to get them down so truthfully speaking I am probably not taking the full dose on a regular basis. Must try harder!
Trying to analyse the ‘feeling low’, I suppose that on tx small cracks become huge craters so anything at all wrong with your life becomes a major fault. I have so many little fault lines in my world that earthquakes and tsunamis are happening regularly – or at least it seems that way. Tx too, seems to isolate you. I can’t explain it very well but I don’t have the energy or will to do the things in life that I was doing prior to tx. I havn’t exactly locked myself away or anything like that but I am reluctant, for instance, to go to play bridge these days. I do try and have a fairly ‘normal’ life like going out to parties or to dinner but I don’t have a lot to say to people – I am totally bored with talking about myself and my illness but there’s not a lot else going on for me to chat about…..
On a more positive note, it’s my birthday this week. I know at my age I should not be celebrating but what the hell. We have friends coming to stay and I’m having a birthday dinner for a few close friends. A new Italian friend (who happens to be a chef and who also had a liver transplant only last year) has offered to come and cook dinner for us so I get to enjoy it. The sun is shining, the sky is blue – what more could I ask for?
3 Comments:
Hi Tink,
Have a great birthday, you can celebrate at any age. Enjoy your friend's cooking, I'm sure it will be a wonderful meal.
You will get your life back and it will be without having to worry about the virus, it seems a long way off but it will happen, try and stay positive.
As to the treatment isolating you, tell me about it, I know exactly where you are coming from on that one! it's just the same in our house.
Carol
By
carol, at 10:34 pm
Happy birthday, Tink - I'm sure the boredom will gradually lift - sometimes leading a normal life isn't as great as it's made out!
By
Anonymous, at 10:39 am
I was diagnosed as HEPATITIS B carrier in 2013 with fibrosis of the
liver already present. I started on antiviral medications which
reduced the viral load initially. After a couple of years the virus
became resistant. I started on HEPATITIS B Herbal treatment from
ULTIMATE LIFE CLINIC (www.ultimatelifeclinic.com) in March, 2020. Their
treatment totally reversed the virus. I did another blood test after
the 6 months long treatment and tested negative to the virus. Amazing
treatment! This treatment is a breakthrough for all HBV carriers.
By
MATINA, at 10:01 pm
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