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Tink's journey with Hepatitis C

Monday, December 05, 2005

Only 12 more to go...

I've now had 3 lots of 3 hour massages and I am definitely feeling the benefit. I should have organised them a while ago but never got around to it - silly me.

So my main complaint is the depression. My 'feeling low' has gradually become far less manageable and there's no hiding the fact that it is actually real depression that I'm feeling.

I used to wake up feeling so joyful and full of life and now I'm even screaming at the cat if it as much as purrs in my ear. I usually have my blackest thoughts in the middle of the night when I have to get up to go to the loo. I go back to sleep but have depressing dreams and always wake up feeling the weight of the world on me. Professor Foster encouraged me right from the beginning to take anti-depressants if they were required. I have not taken them because I hate the thought of putting yet more chemicals inside me and also, on a normal day I am quite a compulsive/addictive person and the last thing I want is to get addicted to anti-depressants.

To be honest, it's only been this past month that I felt the full impact of the depression and some of that could have been something to do with the pain and nausea I've been experiencing. This time of year hardly helps too.....

On a more positive note, I have managed to play bridge at least twice a week and in fact, I am off to play now. I can't think of a better way of spending a wet and windy afternoon and you never know, I might even get a decent score and that would certainly cheer me up!
Must run... bye


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