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Tink's journey with Hepatitis C

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

35 down.....

...and yes, I am counting! I think I'll get really excited when I can start the countdown at 10 weeks to go - I might even be 'demob' happy at Xmas time.

I had another 2 1/2 hrs of massage last Thurs and I think it's helping as I've just had 2 days without painkillers. The good thing about the pain is that it's hard to remember it when you are feeling ok. The bad days come and go and so I just have to make the most of good ones. It's strange that the unwell feeling comes about so quickly and without warning. I was up and about on Saturday morning and suddenly, I felt so sick that I had to go to bed and I stayed there for the remainder of the day - even sleeping for most of it.

But today I am in good form and even my friends commented on how 'bouncy' I seemed this morning. I had lunch out and here I am still feeling ok. The temptation now, of course, is to go into overdrive and try and catch up with some of the stuff that I've pushed aside but hey ho, I shall just relax and enjoy this delicious bit of respite.

For me anyway, it's been important to put aside any sort of 'issue'. I have a couple of them lurking in the background somewhere but I have totally refused to let them get a hold. If I even get a whiff of a problem, my trap door comes down and rescues me. This is totally opposite to my normal way of dealing with anything - I have always been face-on. Strange change of character but comforting and most welcome!

The sun is setting and there's not a single cloud over the island which means we are in for a cold night. Time and (miraculously) energy to bring in a few logs and light that fire.....

Monday, November 21, 2005

Another bad week

It is 3 o'clock in the afternoon and I am lying in bed with my hot water bottle feeling very sorry for myself. The sun is shining and I am lying here looking out at a very calm sea. I feel quite 'down' and I don't know why.

I met friends for coffee this morning and had a good long chat - I even made a new friend (funny how you just suddenly meet someone and instantly get along.....?) I should be feeling quite positive as I've only 13 more jabs to go after today. Thirteen sounds so close to being finished with this stuff - it can't go fast enough. I think I am feeling so down because I am so fed up with not feeling right. I am having to take pain killers daily and now my stomach feels quite nauseaus and my head feels groggy - how on earth I managed to get through the first 7 seven months without any of this is amazing.

I did find myself a sports masseuse who came along to my house last Tuesday. He spent 3 hours massaging - he said I had the Himalayas on my back! A 3 hr massage - it sounds idyllic but I can tell you it was 3 hours of pure hell and agony. The good news was that I felt like a rag doll afterwards and didn't have to take pain killers for 2 days. He's coming again on Thursday and I can hardly wait - masochistic or what?

I read some of the comments on my Blog today and I want to thank you all for taking the time to write - your encouragement does help. I stay in touch with the little band of other heppers here on the Island - it's just great having people around who understand exactly what you are going through, although there are times when I tire of hearing myself rabbiting on and on about my plight. I don't feel sorry for myself, I am just fed up with feeling unwell.

My Riba rage continues... I am the most intolerant person I know. I take on strangers, department stores, government, whatever... I know I am doing it but can't stop myself. I can hear my dad apologising quietly so I know I've overstepped the mark. And then I 'stalk' off - well, more of a quiet hobble really - my 86 year old father walks faster than me and carries the groceries!

The sun is just beginning to set over the sea so I will sign off and enjoy the tranquility and the remainder of my hot water bottle.